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Own Your Success: Ditching Self-Sabotage for Working Women

Vanessa Jupe

By Vanessa Jupe, CEO of Leva

We are our own worst enemy at times. We have all succumbed to waves of self-doubt. We’ve convinced our professional selves that we need to make ourselves smaller, quieter, more amenable, and less emotional. At the same time, we have told ourselves that we need to stand out, be assertive and get noticed at just the right time. It is totally exhausting, and that is before we factor in motherhood, friendships, society, and our significant others. 

The empowering truth is: We are enough. We don’t need to have it all. That’s not even possible. We need to simply acknowledge and believe that we are deserving of success and happiness in our professional and personal lives. 

Here are a few ways women tend to self-sabotage and how you can  learn practical strategies to overcome these challenges.

1. The Myth of Perfect Balance:

Simply put: IT DOES NOT EXIST.  The pursuit of perfect work-life balance is most often a migraine of stress and guilt.  Balance is a dynamic concept, constantly shifting and evolving, like a see-saw. Instead of aiming for perfection, strive for calm. The more frantic the mind, the more stress, mistakes and sleepless nights you have. Prioritize what matters most in that moment. It’s time to acknowledge that you are only one fabulous woman who can only do so much. Having priorities and boundaries are key to maintaining control and fostering success. Once you have prioritized what is most  important to you to achieve professionally and personally, communicate it with your manager.

2. The Likeability Trap:

From a young age, women are often brought up to prioritize being likable and non-confrontational, which can easily translate into downplaying achievements or avoiding assertive communication in the workplace. Being well-liked is certainly valuable, but it's equally important to be respected and recognized for your accomplishments.

Lean in to your ambition, speak confidently, and don't hesitate to negotiate for what you deserve. Remember, advocating for yourself isn't selfish; it's essential for career advancement. This is difficult for many women. Exploring personal coaching is another avenue if this is something you really struggle with. Leva offers registered coaches, both in app and via our website .

3. Imposter Syndrome:

This is more common than most people would like to admit. Women, especially, doubt their abilities and attribute success to external factors like luck. This "imposter syndrome" can deter you from seizing opportunities and taking risks.

Combat this by acknowledging your strengths and accomplishments. Keep a record of your wins, both big and small.nd no, this is not being boastful, it is good to be proud of yourself! Challenge your negative self-talk and remind yourself of your expertise, passion, and experience. Actively seek out mentors and sponsors who can offer support and guidance, or read about how other successful women have conquered their imposter syndrome.  

4. Knowledge Is Power! 

Familiarize yourself with your company benefits, advancement programs and labor laws. Recent developments in the US in 2024 have expanded rights for working mothers, offering greater security and flexibility. Many organizations offer tuition assistance and reimbursement so you can continue to evolve your skillset. Knowing your options and rights allows you to advocate for yourself. 

Empowering Yourself: Tips for Success:

  • Set realistic expectations: Recognize that you don't have to be perfect at everything. It's okay to have off days.

  • Build a support network: Surround yourself with other successful women, working moms, mentors, and allies who can offer encouragement and advice.

  • Celebrate your wins: Acknowledge your accomplishments, both at work and at home.

  • Embrace your unique strengths: Remember, your perspective as a woman and/or mother can be a valuable asset in the workplace.

  • Prioritize self-care: Make time for activities that recharge you, whether it's exercise, meditation, or simply relaxing with a good book.

  • Lean in: Don't be afraid to take on challenges and pursue opportunities for growth.

Remember, your journey as a woman and a working mom is proof of your strength and resilience. By overcoming self-sabotage and embracing your full potential, you can create a fulfilling career and a thriving family life.


Take the Next Step:

Schedule a one-on-one coaching session with one of our career coaches to explore your unique talents and create a personalized action plan for success. Book Here.



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