By Alison Heyerdahl

“We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.” - Sheryl Sandberg

One of the most important qualities that separates human beings from animals is our ability to introspect and take on perspectives outside our own.  It is based on the notion that we are not our thoughts; that we are thinkers able to observe and witness the machinations of our minds. Research shows that when we see ourselves more clearly, we are more confident, make better decisions, and communicate more effectively.  We also become better leaders, have higher levels of job satisfaction, and can manage our emotions better. 

Different types of awareness

Interestingly, according to research performed by Tasha Eurich, an organizational psychologist, and executive coach, most people believe that they are self-aware, but only 10-15% of people actually fit the criteria.   She found that there are two types of self-awareness: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.  Internal self-awareness is concerned with how we view our own reactions, emotional states, values, passions, aspirations, and how we fit into our environment.  External self-awareness means understanding how others see us.  People who develop external self-awareness are more empathetic and are able to take on the perspectives of others.  Most people assume that having one type of awareness automatically means that the other type of awareness is present, but this is not the case.  Leaders must actively work on getting feedback from others and understanding their internal processes to be effective. 

According to Eurich, those who are highly introspective but have low external awareness are often clear on who they are, but they don’t seek feedback from others or actively challenge their own views, resulting in blind spots.  This can limit their success and harm their relationships. 

On the other hand, those with high external awareness and low internal awareness are often so focused on appearing a certain way to others that they overlook what matters to them and make decisions based on what others expect.  This ultimately limits their self-fulfillment. 

People with high internal and high external self-awareness know who they are and what they want to accomplish, but they are also aware of how they affect others, making them effective leaders. 

How positions of leadership affect awareness

Interestingly, leaders are in a difficult position when it comes to developing awareness.  This is because leaders often develop a false sense of confidence in their abilities, making them less accurate in assessing their leadership effectiveness.  Furthermore, because they are in positions of power, they significantly overvalue their skills, ultimately resulting in poor leadership outcomes. 

There are many reasons that this phenomenon is so pervasive.   Firstly, by virtue of the fact that they are in positions of leadership, there are fewer people above them who can provide honest feedback.  Secondly, employees are very uncomfortable with providing an honest appraisal for fear of it hurting their careers.  Thirdly, as a leader’s power grows, they are less willing to listen to others because they think they should know more than their employees. 

How do leaders develop self-awareness?

Successful leaders are those who pursue frequent, honest feedback from others.  This may be in the form of 360 reviews, whereby leaders seek critical feedback from bosses, peers, employees, and even customers.  Furthermore, leaders who seek critical feedback from those who have their best interests in mind and are willing to tell them the truth, become more self-aware in the process and are more effective in their positions. 

Eurich also found, surprisingly, that the way in which people self-reflect determines how self-aware they are.  Many people ask “why” a certain thing happens to them, which is an ineffective self-awareness question.  For example, an employee who receives a bad performance review may ask, "Why did that person give me that feedback?" They may conclude it’s because they’re not suitable for the job.  What we don't realize is that so much is trapped outside our conscious awareness, we invent answers that feel true but are often wrong.  We ignore evidence to the contrary and force our thoughts to conform to our initial explanations.  It also creates a negative and unproductive thought process that colors all our experiences.   

To increase internal and external self-awareness, Eurich suggests that people ask what, not why.  Asking what provides an opportunity to learn from past experiences and develop new and creative ways to deal with situations in the future.  It helps us stay more objective and empowers us to act insightfully.  For example, on receiving negative performance feedback, an employee may ask what they could do better in the future rather than beating themselves up for what they did wrong. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, self-awareness is an important human trait that allows us to be more confident, make better decisions and communicate more effectively.  There are two types of self-awareness: internal and external self-awareness, and having one type of awareness doesn’t mean that you possess the other.  Research shows that effective leaders know who they are and what they want to accomplish, but are also aware of the effect they have on others. 

You can access a daily guided meditation that will help you on your meditation journey.