By Alison Heyerdahl

Many working mothers have mixed feelings about going on maternity leave.  While you may be feeling excited about the prospect of breastfeeding and spending time with your newborn, you may also be feeling apprehensive about the effects this may have on your career.  

While I wish this was not the case, a lot of research on the subject points to the fact that women are often compromised in their career growth by maternity leave.  

Women may therefore be in the unfortunate position of asking themselves whether they want a child or a career.  Should you take maternity leave, knowing that it will provide valuable time for bonding and improve the well-being of you and your baby?  After all, studies have found that maternity leave is critical to an infant’s physical and psychological development, lowers infant mortality, and reduces maternal stress.  Or, should you skip maternity leave, knowing that it will improve your chances of achieving career success?  This is obviously an extremely unfair choice, but according to research, women who take time off can expect to pay the negative consequences of their devotion to motherhood when they return to work. 

Furthermore, it has been found that motherhood results in a pay penalty, while fatherhood results in a pay increase.  According to Michelle J. Budig, a professor at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, “Fatherhood is a valued characteristic of employers, signaling perhaps greater work commitment, stability, and deservingness”, while each child tends to cost a mother. 

This article intends to explore the effects of maternity leave on the careers of working mothers and offer solutions to getting back in the game on your own terms. 

#1 - Talk to your boss or manager about keeping in touch (KIT) during maternity leave 

Some of the biggest fears we have about going on maternity leave include being passed over for promotions, becoming irrelevant (and redundant), or being unaware of the changes happening at work.  Talk to your boss or manager about keeping in touch during maternity leave. Interestingly, KIT days are standard in other parts of the developed world, just not the US. Note that if you’re taking your leave under FMLA, the law actually says your employer can’t ask or require you to perform work on your leave, though you are within your rights to field occasional calls as a “professional courtesy.”  Being updated about training and social events and receiving company newsletters with details of meetings and projects will help make you feel part of the work environment.  It will also make your return to work easier and reflect your commitment to the company.

Schedule a meeting with your employer to discuss how to keep in touch while you are away.  Agree on the amount and method of contact with your employer.  While some moms want to be completely focused on their newborns and only attend to work matters when they get back to the office, others may want to be somewhat more involved in the workplace happenings. Other ways to stay involved, and which you may like to discuss with your manager include:

• Attending training sessions to update your skills.

• Attending conferences.

• Regularly checking in with your employer or team (onsite or via online platforms).

• Spending time in the office every now and again to attend to matters.

#2 - Understand Your Emotions

Becoming a mother is emotionally, physically, and mentally demanding.  Add the lack of sleep and hormonal changes, and it is clear why returning to work can be extremely challenging and stressful.  The insecurity of not knowing what to expect when you return to work can leave you full of self-doubt, wondering whether you can still perform.  We tend to bottle up these emotions to appear capable, ambitious, and competent while worrying about how it may affect our colleagues’ or employers’ views of us.  However, this is not sustainable, because motherhood is not a short-term enterprise.

The following strategies can help you manage these difficult emotions in the face of returning to work:

Understand your post-partum emotions.  It is totally normal to cry over small things when your baby arrives.  It doesn’t mean you’re sad to be a mother.  Feeling blue, being weepy, and over-sensitive are just part of the motherhood deal in the first few months after the birth of your baby.  Recognize and be open to these emotions, experiencing their full range.  This will make you less likely to fixate on the issues that arise at work and give you more confidence in your abilities.  Please note that if you are experiencing severe anxiety, hopelessness, and disturbing thoughts, you should visit your doctor. 

Find people with whom you can share your thoughts. A few trusted friends, mentors, or a counselor can be invaluable.  Support, kindness, and empathy will go a long way to help you feel validated and normalize your emotions.  Find other women who have experienced the same situation and who can share their stories and dispense helpful advice – it helps to know that you are not alone in the world.  You will be surprised at the level of support and care you receive when you signal openness to it.

#3 - Practice self-care

Meditation, a fitness regime, good nutrition, drinking lots of water, socializing, and getting enough sleep are extremely important for building your executive stamina.  These self-care activities ensure you can continue to work for the long haul - motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. Think carefully about what revitalizes you. For instance, going out with a group of friends may be energizing for one person and draining for another. Pay attention to your own unique responses to situations and experiences.  

Furthermore, balancing motherhood with a career is extremely taxing, and you cannot function at your highest level if you are not looking after yourself.  The strain of trying to be everything for everyone all the time can lead to burnout. Take regular guilt-free breaks at home and at work to help restore your energy and recharge your batteries.  

#4 - Have confidence in your abilities  

After many months of being at home with your baby and having limited contact with other adults, you may start to doubt your ability to cut it in the professional world.  Furthermore, it may have been a while since you received the performance reviews and bonuses that make you feel like you’re doing a good job.  Take a moment to reflect on your past successes and jot them down. You have unique strengths and abilities that you will continue to bring to your career in the future.  Share these successes with a close friend and get their feedback.  They will often bring your attention to other successes you haven’t thought about.  Having another person to validate your strengths really helps in boosting your confidence.  Remember that it’s not just you – many people are fighting the same feelings of self-doubt.  You may feel that other people are more established and seem to know what they’re doing, but just like you, they are simply doing their best.

#5 - Plan 

In order to ease the transition from maternity leave to work, it is important to take some time to think about and plan the process. This will require communication with your employer (or manager), and organizing your personal affairs effectively. Set a meeting with your manager to discuss the following points:

• How you will communicate on maternity leave.

• A handover plan for projects at the beginning and end of maternity leave.

• How you will manage issues like breastmilk pumping or handling a sick infant.

• Scheduling of convenient meeting times (early or late meetings could be difficult because of daycare drop-offs and pickups).

As you plan important events including visits to the pediatrician and other check-ups, create calendar invitations so that you’re organized and can manage your time effectively.  Add these events in the calenders of your spouse and those in your support network to ensure an appointment won’t be missed.  

Planning ahead means that you are taking control of the situation and communicating effectively with your employer or manager. While some of these conversations are not the most comfortable topic to broach, preparing for these conversations with your employer (or manager) and colleagues will help you maintain professionalism and use language that is solution-seeking and constructive.

#6 - Know your rights when returning from maternity leave

Lastly, while you obviously don’t want to go the legal route to settle what you may feel is a compromised work situation due to maternity leave, it is important to understand your rights. According to the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), most states offer only unpaid maternity leave, but whether paid or unpaid, it has been recognized as a constitutional right for women in America.  Furthermore, any woman returning after leave should be treated in the same manner as other workers who are allowed to leave for temporary disability.  On returning from maternity leave, you have the right to:

• Return to the same or equivalent job.

• Return to an alternative work schedule.

• Not to be discriminated against because you took maternity leave.

You should also not be forced to take less pay or be forced to go on early maternity leave just because you are pregnant.  

Contact an attorney right away should you feel your rights are being violated.  No matter how complex the issue, you should seek to resolve them in a way that works for you.

In conclusion, We know that the first years of life are critical to an infant’s development and that more children are raised in households with 2 full-time working parents than ever before.  As a result, maternity leave is an important accommodation to try and balance the needs of the home and the workplace. Strategies for ensuring a smooth transition back to the office include organizing a keep in touch (KIT) plan so that you’re updated on the latest activities and training at work, understanding and normalizing the emotions around returning to work, having confidence in your unique abilities, practicing self-care so that you do not burn out, carefully planning how you will manage your professional and personal affairs, and knowing your rights concerning maternity leave.