Bullying in the Workplace

Career Advice
Written By Leva App
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Jenna* used to wake up every morning dreading the day ahead. She knew that the moment Mia, the biggest bully that ever walked this planet, laid eyes on her, the daily nightmare would begin. Some days it would start in the busy hallway, with Mia's condescending voice traveling through the crowd, mocking Jenna's curly hair or her new shoes. It continued when she sat at her desk, as Mia would announce to the whole room that Jenna did not have the brains to finish her assignment in time. Mia's band of followers scoffed at Jenna to gain Mia's approval. Others tried to keep their distance because they were afraid of Mia. Sadly, even powers that be, who were supposed to look after everyone, ensuring growth and progress in a healthy environment, chose to turn a blind eye to this consistent, outrageous bullying. During breaks, Jenna cried, hiding in the bathroom. At home, she suffered migraine attacks.

It would be easy to assume that Jenna and Mia were your typical high school seniors.  Isn't this a characteristic bullying scenario that many of us experienced or witnessed while studying for our midterms? We couldn't wait to shut the classroom doors on such nasty, childish behavior and enter the adult world of reason and common sense.

But you could not be more wrong. Jenna is a 37-year old mother of two, a distinguished architect who graduated Summa Cum Laude from Berkeley, working for one of the top San Francisco architectural firms. Mia is her immediate supervisor.

Is Workplace Bullying more widespread than we think?

Sadly, it is. The Workplace Bullying Institute estimates that approximately 54 million American workers are victimized by bully behavior at some point in their careers.

Dr. Judy Blando of the University of Phoenix found that up to 75% of workers are impacted directly or indirectly by bullying in the workplace. Dr. Hornstein, a social psychology professor at Columbia University Teachers College, noted that as many as 20 million Americans face daily workplace abuse.

How can I be sure that what I am experiencing is unacceptable behavior at work?

One of the problems in identifying workplace bullying is self-doubt. Most people associate bullying with juvenile aggression that we are somehow meant to miraculously outgrow as we step into the workplace. So how can this nightmare be happening to us again, the strong, confident adults that we've become? Are we too sensitive? Are we not meant to know how to deal with these silly negative aspects of human nature? The answer to these questions is that you should not doubt that what you are experiencing is workplace bullying.

Furthermore, creating self-doubt is part of the bully's tactics.  It is essentially gaslighting, whereby the bully manages to make you feel you are just imagining things, are being overly dramatic or just plain unprofessional. You are not. Especially if your colleague’s treatment continuously makes you feel uncomfortable and anxious. This treatment can take many forms. It can be verbal or physical and can range from downright aggressive behavior to more subtle but devastating psychological abuse.  

What are the types of harassment experienced at work? 

If based on gender, race, religion or, ethnicity, federal laws regulating these matters already exist and are enforced by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC).

Emotional bullying ranges from isolating and ignoring the victim and making them feel like they do not exist, to direct verbal attacks and vicious threats.  Sexual or physical harassment includes being touched in ways that make you feel uncomfortable or being physically attacked.

What behavior is considered employee abuse?

It may be easier to identify such psychological warfare in terms of its adverse effect on the workplace environment. However, it must be viewed in conjunction with the harm done to the individual employee's wellbeing.

Any employee behavior that creates a hostile work environment for another employee can be classified as employee abuse. It is continuous malicious behavior on behalf of the perpetrator that causes any form of pain and trauma for the victim.  It has massive negative consequences for the workplace, including increased employee stress, low morale and productivity, and high employee turnover.

What constitutes emotional abuse in the workplace?

Emotional abuse is also common in the workplace. It is often measured by a job-stress analysis. In this regard, research shifts the focus to individual employee wellbeing.

Employees who reported on emotional abuse often suffer from anxiety, depression, fear, and even post-traumatic disorder symptoms.

What are the signs of a toxic workplace?

Toxic workplaces are those in which employees bully their peers. In these environments, productivity is often low, and progress is slow.

We are all prepared to accept constructive criticism where necessary to improve our performance, but the criticism level is often unreasonable and unparalleled in a toxic workplace.  The victim is singled out and berated for some obscure reason.  This can escalate to unwarranted demotions and pay reductions, limited benefits that are available to the rest of the team, and denial of any prospects of advancement at work. The bully proceeds to further demean their target, very often a highly skilled professional, by denying them any form of meaningful work.

On the other side of the abusive spectrum is complete ostracism of the victim through silent treatment, banishment from important work meetings, or social occasions. It can even be as devious and calculated as deliberately turning the superiors and peers against the victim, making them feel completely snubbed and unwanted.

What constitutes unfair treatment at the workplace?

Many reports show that the signs of bullying are so subtle and spread out over time, that most people cannot say how it started, but once it gains momentum, it is very difficult to stop. One day you may wake up just like Jenna and dread going to work. You may notice how you've changed at home with your husband and kids.

Have you become short-tempered? Frustrated? Angry? It is a clear sign that your stress at work may be spilling over into your family life.

Ask yourself: Why do I dread going to work? Am I purposefully intimidated? Is someone threatening me? Are they humiliating me? Are they sabotaging my work?

It is not only your mental and emotional health at stake but your physical wellbeing as well! Studies from Stanford and Harvard Universities stress the extreme effects this type of suffering can cause. Hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and even fatalities. As you may constantly feel like you are under attack, your flight or fight mindset will kick in, adding heightened levels of extreme stress.

How do I deal with unprofessional behavior in the workplace?

Apart from the most obvious option to walk away, there may be a few other things you can do.

  1. Keep a safe distance from the bully.

  2. Confront it constructively by addressing it and suggesting a way forward. Be specific about what behavior it is and how it impacts your work negatively (stay away from talking about your emotions. It is not that they are not important, but the others, including the bully, may not care about them. They will care about the work as it may affect them too). Be firm that you will not tolerate this type of behavior because it affects your work and your aim is to be the best at your job that you can be.

  3. You must be ready to engage in some confrontation should your previous warning not be heeded. You’re the adult dealing with a tantrum.

  4. Record and report to your superiors or Human Resources.

How do I prove a hostile environment in the workplace?

Many reported emotional abuse cases were so disjointed with no specifics that even the victims themselves started doubting their validity. The key factor is documentation. Be sure to log every incident in as much detail as possible, including the place, time, date, and potential witnesses. Witnesses are crucial as they can confirm your version of events.  Make sure your writing is factual and avoid references to personal emotional turmoil. Focus on the harmful effects that this has had on your work. This is especially useful if the abuse is verbal. If you had been abused by a colleague in an email, file the relevant evidence to support your case once you decide to take action.

If you choose to seek counseling to cope with your mental and emotional anguish, this can strengthen your case as it proves how damaging the abuse is.

Can I sue my employer for stress and anxiety?

If it had reached the point where you need professional help for the emotional distress you are experiencing at work, then perhaps legal action is necessary.

Employees are the company's greatest asset. As such, it is the employer's responsibility to protect their workers from harm in the workplace so that they can perform to the best of their ability.

If all else fails, take the legal route.

Can I sue my employer for verbal abuse?

While it can be a difficult route to take, you can sue your employer for verbal abuse. Seek legal counsel before you take any steps. You must have all the information at your disposal to know if this is the right route to take and whether you will be able to prove your case.

Conclusion

Emotional and mental abuse of women is a rampant sickness in our society, whether it happens at the hands of their spouse or the workplace, and it should be dealt with severely. The danger lies in that it sneaks up on you slowly over time, and as such, you may never be certain when and how it started. One day you wake up full of fear and anxiety. The workplace scenario is no better than the abuse some victims experience at home. You cannot just leave as some people think, whether it is because of finances or because you keep deceiving yourself, as all victims do, tomorrow will be better. Start taking action, directly and constructively, confronting the bully, or documenting the incidents that will help build your case.  Seek professional help if need be, and do not be ashamed.

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Leva App
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