The best part about having a baby in the Netherlands, which goes hand in hand with their very naturalistic approach to early motherhood, is the enormous support when it comes to breastfeeding.

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. When I envisioned motherhood, breastfeeding was an important aspect of that. My journey did not turn out the way I initially wanted, but I am proud of how far we made it and proud of my body. To understand my experience fully, let me provide some background.

I recently gave birth to my second son, who was born at 35 weeks. In the months leading up to his birth, my prayers were for a healthy baby AND a beautiful breastfeeding journey. I was DETERMINED to breastfeed him no matter what. The journey thus far has not been easy, but worth it!

Despite her challenges, Grace remained determined to be the best mother and professional she could be. Now the mother of three, she still continues to pursue her passions for running, yoga, and weightlifting, and enjoys hobbies like SCUBA diving and collecting sea glass. Grace continued to excel in her career, using her expertise in therapeutics, medical devices, and more to make a positive impact in the biotech industry.

With little National Health System (NHS) support, I hired a private lactation consultant to visit our home and watch a feed. I will never forget the devastation I felt when we learned my son had a tight posterior tongue tie and high palate (which was missed by several healthcare professionals). No wonder he couldn’t extract milk and was so distressed at the breast!

Breastfeeding is supposed to be easy, right? Hardly! Thrush, low supply, vasospasm, tongue tie, and clogged ducts, we went through it all. And came out a year later still loving each other.

I often hear mothers think of breastfeeding as the first and primary step in taking care of their child- it establishes a sense of being a good mother or not right off the bat. However, many don’t realize that being a good mother comes from many facets beyond just a feeding plan! If you love, nurture, and care for your baby, you are indeed a good mom, no matter how you choose to feed!

For me, breastfeeding was the hardest part of becoming a mom. I wasn’t prepared for it at all. All the books I read and all the videos I watched made it seem like this blissful bonding experience for mom and baby. Until my turn came, and it just wasn’t at all.

Bad mother. The last thing any woman wants to hear. The one thing that she's trying not to be. Yet that's what I was told by my sister-in-law when I told her that I didn't know if I wanted to breastfeed. It is drilled into us as women that we are supposed to do certain things and be a certain way when we become mothers- not just by strangers and "society "but from family, friends, and other women who are supposed to be an ally and support systems.

I learned immediately after my son was born that this would not be as easy as I had imagined. My sweet boy was born with a rare condition called Bladder Exstrophy, and we didn't know anything about it until I delivered him. In short, his bladder was on the outside of his body. Doctors rushed him to NICU at a hospital an hour away immediately after I gave birth. My husband joined him, and I was left to begin this breastfeeding journey alone without my baby.

I got my women tribe and book club ladies to share and compare our breastfeeding stories. Our children are of various ages, from babies to teenagers, and some of us are stay-at-home moms, and some are working moms ranging from teachers to physios. It was an interesting collection of stories highlighting how normal breastfeeding is, with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Following a STAT Primary Cesarean Section, something that upset me greatly, I was DETERMINED that my breastfeeding journey would be a success. We made it 15 months with what I now believe was a posterior tongue tie, suck blister, excessive spit-up (due to a milk allergy we only discovered after weaning), mastitis SIX times, oversupply issues, and pumping while away from my baby during my 12-hour shifts.

I promised myself that it would be different this time - that I would be calm and allow my baby to feed wherever and whenever he needed. I would avoid all that time and stress expressing and sterilizing bottles. However, our plans rarely go according to plan. Never did I imagine that the journey would be this difficult.