Loving Yourself
“All the love you could ever need is already available to you. You just have to let it in.”
Have you ever thought about the fact that you are unique in all the world? There is no one who is the same as you. No one has the same feelings or thoughts or way of seeing the world. Sometimes this realization is mind-blowing, and other times it can make us feel lonely and misunderstood. This is especially true on a day like Valentine's Day if we don't have a special person in our lives to let us know how valuable and loved we are.
At these times, we get lost in negative thoughts and self-doubt. We feel insecure and as if we are lacking. Often we don't realize that what underlies these thoughts is a deeper reality: We do not feel worthy of love.
This is largely because we are raised in a society that rewards perfectionism. We are conditioned to believe that unless we are pretty, thin, successful, smart, and have the perfect partner and kids, we are not loveable. Rarely do we feel enough to be just who we are, and we fail to realize what a miracle life is.
Think about this: we exist on a planet that can sustain life, and are spinning around the sun amongst billions of galaxies. Hundreds, if not thousands, of conditions must exist for life to form or thrive. This is what makes Earth unique and ultimately makes life a miracle – Earth is the only place in our universe that possesses the conditions for life to thrive and we should spend more time celebrating that. In fact, scientists estimate the probability of your being born at about one in 400 trillion. If you think about all the chance encounters and events that conspired for you to be here, you start to appreciate this miracle. We may also become aware that we have an inexplicable life force flowing through us that animates and allows us to manifest creativity. We are, therefore, worthy of nothing less than love.
For just a minute, imagine what your life would be if you fully accepted who you are. Instead of beating yourself up and judging everything you feel is wrong with you, take a moment to meditate on true self-acceptance. Focusing on self-compassion will allow you to tap into the knowledge that’s hidden deep down in your core: you are perfect just as you are. Right now.
How does Meditation Increase Self-Compassion?
According to recent studies, circuits in the brain for self-love and self-compassion are strengthened by meditation and respond to consistent training. These changes occur after only two weeks of daily meditation and are maintained three months post-intervention. This type of meditation has the following effect:
It reduces the tendencies that we have toward self-criticism.
It leads to positive growth in our confidence to be who we really are.
It enables us to view any periods when we feel inadequate or not up to a task as a fleeting time instead of permanent.
It reduces anxiety, depression, and other forms of suffering that can arise from feeling we are not 'enough.'
It increases the amount of compassion we feel for ourselves and others.
By regularly practicing meditation, you can treat yourself with the love you wish someone else would bestow on you. You can embrace yourself and your life with new eyes and a compassionate approach that will make even the little things so much more enjoyable. This Valentine's Day, give yourself the most beautiful gift you possibly can - the gift of self-love and self-compassion.
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+ References
- Binazir, A. B. (2011, June). Are You a Miracle? On the Probability of Your Being Born. Retrieved February 2021, from HuffPost: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/probability-being-born_b_877853?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAJyWsRlEdksogJBd1jeCCVoAn8274qPLGBIbBU-J6v3AoqVFdGzpv_koHj3qoPLev0xan_QLt55R08VTweQO_AMtnKDj43zJlM2Dw_tvkxAbepH
- EOC Institute. (n.d.). Slf-Acceptance: How Meditation Helps You Love and Accept Yourself. Retrieved February 2021, from EOC Institute: https://eocinstitute.org/meditation/meditation-helps-you-accept-yourself-as-you-are/
- Seppala, E. (2014, September). 18 Science-Backed Reasons to Try Loving-Kindness Meditation. Retrieved February 2021, from Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/feeling-it/201409/18-science-backed-reasons-try-loving-kindness-meditation
- Shahar, B., Szsepsenwol, O., Zilcha-Mano, S., Haim, N., Zamir, O., Lev-Yeshuvi, S., & Levit-Binnun, N. (2015). A Wait-list randomize controlled trial of loving-kindness meditation programme for self-criticism. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 22(4), 346-356.
