How to Cope With Pregnancy Loss
Pregnancy loss is a heartbreaking and emotional experience that can have devastating physical and psychological impacts. It can be extremely difficult to cope with the pain and grief of losing a much-wanted baby. While there is no one-size-fits-all answer for how to heal from a pregnancy loss, you can take steps to help yourself work through the emotions and learn how to cope in the aftermath.
Emotional Impact of Pregnancy Loss
When processing the loss of a pregnancy, it's natural to experience an array of intense emotions. Shock and denial often come first as one grapples with this unexpected turn, which can be followed by guilt and anger. These conflicting feelings may later give way to depression or deep sadness. For some people, there is even jealousy towards others who have not experienced such a personal tragedy. The stages of grief after a pregnancy loss vary for different people.
Coping With Pregnancy Loss
The first step in coping with pregnancy loss is recognizing that it is okay to grieve. Acknowledging your sadness and allowing yourself time to mourn will help you come to terms with the loss of your pregnancy. You should talk about your feelings with friends or family or consider seeking professional counseling. Talking about your feelings helps you work through the process and find perspective.
It's also essential to give yourself time and space away from others if needed, such as taking walks outside or reading books. In addition, you may want to look into support groups where you can connect with other parents who have experienced a pregnancy loss and share stories of hope and healing together. Knowing that many other women have been through similar experiences can help ease some of the guilt or shame associated with a pregnancy loss.
Writing down your thoughts can also be therapeutic; journaling is a powerful way to release emotions without feeling judged by anyone else.
Many parents report that practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga, spending time in nature, or doing something creative like drawing or painting helps in relieving some of the pain associated with pregnancy loss.
Whatever approach you decide on for managing grief after a pregnancy loss, it's essential that you don't neglect your physical health during this difficult time. Make sure you eat healthy meals, get adequate sleep at night, drink plenty of water throughout the day, and stay active by doing light exercises like walking or yoga. Taking care of yourself physically provides the strength needed to deal with emotional hardships too.
FMLA Guidelines for Taking Leave from Work
After pregnancy loss, you may be entitled to take a leave of absence from work to rest, recover, and grieve your loss. The FMLA states that “eligible workers have the right to take 12 weeks of unpaid leave to care for serious health conditions, including miscarriage and stillbirth.” There are some stipulations attached, though. The company must have at least 50 employees, and you must have worked there for at least a year.
Many companies do a poor job of communicating these rights to their employees, and women don’t feel comfortable discussing something as sensitive as pregnancy loss with their employers. Women also worry that taking time off may be held against them and that their job may be in jeopardy.
Ideally, you should find a trustworthy and empathetic supervisor, manager, or HR partner and discuss the issue one-on-one. If the need to take time off is not met with understanding, it may be worth seeking legal counseling to find a workable solution.
What Causes Pregnancy Loss?
Pregnancy loss can take many forms, such as when the fertilized egg fails to develop into an embryo (embryonic pregnancy) or if a spontaneous abortion occurs before 13 weeks of gestation. It may also be due to ectopic pregnancies, molar pregnancies (where the fetus doesn’t develop embryonic tissues), and stillbirths after 20 weeks.
About half of pregnancy losses occur due to a problem with chromosomes or genes. It’s important to emphasize that pregnancy loss is not usually caused by anything the mother has done.
Common reasons for pregnancy loss include:
Hormonal issues - low progesterone levels or thyroid problems
Hypertension (high blood pressure) or diabetes (high blood sugar)
Incompetent cervix - where the cervix doesn’t close properly
Autoimmune diseases such as lupus or antiphospholipid antibody syndrome, cause the body to produce antibodies that can attack abnormal tissues (such as the embryo)
Infections such as mycoplasma, listeria, toxoplasma, or cytomegalovirus (CMV)
Abnormal development of the fetus
Fibroids, scar tissue in the uterus, or an abnormally shaped uterus
Trauma to the uterus
Conclusion
Finally, while pregnancy loss is an incredibly hard experience for parents, it's important not to blame yourself or feel guilty over what happened--it wasn't your fault! You aren’t responsible for what happened, so try not to blame yourself for something over which you had no control.
It's important to be gentle with yourself while you grieve the loss, taking time to rest and recover. You may go through a period of intense emotional distress, so taking time out for yourself to focus on healing is imperative. Remember to take care of your physical needs, too, by eating wholesome food, drinking plenty of water, and performing gentle exercises.
