Mama, You're Not Alone: How to ask for Help
As a new mom, it's important to remember that you don't have to do everything alone. Asking for help is not a weakness but a sign of strength and self-awareness. It's common for new moms to feel like they should be able to handle everything on their own, but the truth is that it's okay to ask for help. Here are three reasons why new moms should seek assistance:
First of all, adjusting to motherhood can be difficult. The transition into motherhood can be a challenging time. New moms may experience various emotions, including fear, sadness, and postpartum depression or anxiety. Asking for help from loved ones or a healthcare professional can provide emotional support and guidance.
Secondly, taking care of a newborn is a full-time job. Caring for a newborn is a round-the-clock job that can be physically and mentally exhausting. Sleep deprivation, feeding schedules, and diaper changes can affect a new mom's health and well-being. Asking for help with household chores, meals, or even childcare can provide some much-needed relief and allow new moms to rest and recharge.
Lastly, building a support system is necessary. Humans are social beings, and new moms are no different. Therefore, having a solid support system is essential. It's important to surround yourself with people who understand the challenges of motherhood and can provide encouragement and practical help. Asking for help can help new moms build relationships and foster a sense of community that can be invaluable during this new chapter of life.
Spheres of influence refer to the different circles of people in your life who can offer support in various ways. By identifying the people in your spheres of influence, you can pinpoint who might be best suited to help with specific tasks or emotional support. Tips for asking for help using your spheres of influence:
Start with your inner circle: This might include your partner, immediate family, and close friends. These people know you best and will likely be the most willing to help. This is usually the smallest in number and the biggest in terms of the level of trust.
Identify your outer circles: These might include neighbors, acquaintances, and community members. While they may not know you, they can offer valuable support and assistance.
Look for individuals in outer circles that you’d like to bring in closer: There are people in our lives that we naturally connect and feel more comfortable with than others. Until now, this person might not be in your inner circle or even your friend circle, but what if they were? Look for anyone who could move one ring closer in your sphere of influence to add extra support.
Be specific about what you need: When asking for help, it's essential to be clear about what you need. This can make it easier for others to offer assistance in a way that is helpful to you.
Make a list and refer people to it. Here’s an example of how you could leave a note on the counter to support people who stop by your home in the first few weeks. You could even write this list before the baby arrives, including the general household chores that suddenly feel overwhelming.
Hi! Thanks for stopping by while Baby and I get some sleep. Here are a few items you could do that would take a few minutes and take me a few days with the baby strapped to my chest. I appreciate you being in my life.
Take the kitchen garbage out to the garbage bin.
Restock the fridge with bottles of water and diet coke. You’ll find the boxes in the garage.
Fold the blankets on the couch and put them in the basket by the TV.
Take a peek and see if I started the dishwasher. If the dishes are dirty, can you hit START?
Bring in the mail and lay it on the counter.
Be bold and delegate: If someone offers to help, take them up! Trying to do everything yourself can be tempting, but delegating tasks can help alleviate some of the pressure. Once the task is completed, you’ll be so glad you delegated.
By building a supportive community, you can all help each other through the ups and downs of new motherhood. Asking for help can be challenging, but it's integral to caring for yourself and your new baby. By using your spheres of influence and being specific about what you need, you can build a supportive community to help you through this exciting but challenging time.
