Meaning Over Happiness
“It is a characteristic of the American culture that, again and again, one is commanded and ordered to 'be happy.’ But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.”
-Victor Frankl
Victor Frankl (1905-1997) was an Austrian psychiatrist and neurologist and a holocaust survivor. He wrote 39 books and is known for his international best-seller, "Man's Search for Meaning," based on his experiences in the Nazi concentration camps. Frankl noticed that the way a prisoner imagined his future affected his longevity. Those who became morally broken, bitter, and who eventually gave up on life, soon died. Being subjected to such extreme levels of suffering, most prisoners could no longer find meaning in their lives, resulting in a loss of hope for the future. Once that prisoner lost hope, he was doomed.
Many people confuse happiness for meaning in life. While the two are inextricably linked, what Frankl’s story shows is that sometimes life circumstances, like being a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp, will create significant unhappiness, but finding meaning and hope for the future will make life worth living.
Another interesting analogy that all parents can relate to is the "parent paradox": parents report that they are very happy that they had children, but according to research, those who are living with children often score low on measures of happiness. This indicates that having children can decrease happiness (because it is difficult!) but increases our meaning and life satisfaction.
According to a study by Baumeister et al. (2013), happiness is largely dependent on what is happening in the present moment, while meaning involves integrating the past, present, and future. They highlight some important differences between meaning and happiness:
Happiness was linked to being a taker, while ‘givers’ experienced more meaning in their lives.
Grappling with issues of personal identity and expressing oneself into the world contribute to meaning rather than happiness.
Feeling healthy or ‘good’ was linked to happiness rather than meaning.
Those with more meaningful lives valued relationships over achievements.
Going through a tough financial period reduced people's happiness but did not necessarily reduce meaning.
In short, happiness is linked to having your needs met, getting what you want, and feeling good. In contrast, meaning is linked to developing and discovering our unique selves, our aspirations, building relationships, and integrating our past, present, and future experiences.
The Importance of Meaning
Meaning essentially makes life worth living and gives us a feeling of significance. Most people grapple with finding meaning in their lives because they realize it will ultimately create deeper life satisfaction and will make the suffering of the human condition more bearable.
According to Paul Wong (2015), meaning comprises two components: having a purpose and the ability to process life experience cognitively. He found that even though meaning-making may be associated with negative emotionality in the moment, it contributed to greater resilience in the long-term. In other words, while happiness may make us feel good in the moment, avoiding negative emotions or thoughts can hamper personal development over time. Personal development requires experiencing, acknowledging, and processing the full range of emotions. Meaning-seeking is also associated with grit (passion and perseverance for long-term goals) and adaptability. While emerging research reveals that the superficial pursuit of happiness can actually increase loneliness and decrease wellbeing.
Seeking meaning ultimately creates a more satisfying life in the longer-term, and "years of research on the psychology of wellbeing have demonstrated that often human beings are happiest when they are engaged in meaningful pursuits and virtuous activities." As Bruce Feiler writes, “Happiness is fleeting, while meaning is enduring.” Meaning is what gives your life purpose and substance. Whereas happiness is only found in specific moments, meaning can be gleaned from every life experience.
Conclusion
Few things seem more natural than wanting to be happy. In fact, most people strive for happiness over many other life goals. While it may seem reasonable that happy people have more friends, enjoy more career success and live longer lives, there are some surprising negative consequences to seeking happiness alone. Happiness is essentially a narrow and short-lived experience related to what is happening in our immediate circumstances. Meaning is a culmination of our past, present, and future experiences, and its earnest pursuit results in emotional resilience, grit, and personal development.
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+ References
- Jaffe, D. (2018). Getting Over Happiness: Why Meaningfulness Is A Better Life Purpose. Retrieved February 2021, from Forbes: https://www.forbes.com/sites/dennisjaffe/2018/09/14/getting-over-happiness-why-meaningfulness-is-a-better-life-purpose/?sh=5f0639cf2407
- Kashdan, T. B. (2008). Reconsidering happiness: the costs of distinguishing between hedonics and eudaimonia. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 291-233.
- Mauss, I. B., Savino, N. S., Anderson, C. L., Weisbuch, M., & Tamir, M. (2011). The Pursuit of Happiness Can Be Lonely. American Psychological Association, 1-5.
- Mauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., & Savino, N. S. (2011). Can Seeking Happiness Make People Happy? Paradoxical Effects of Valuing Happiness. Emotion, 11(4), 807-815.
- Wong, P. (2015). A Decade of Meaning: Past, Present, and Future. Retrieved February 2021, from Meaning Therapy, Positive Psychology: http://www.drpaulwong.com/a-decade-of-meaning-past-present-and-future/
