Observing Your Worry
By Aleida Lopez Gimenez
Having a newborn is a constant source of worry for new moms. These negative feelings accompany us through every stage of life and get more intense once we deal with the uncertainty of being responsible for another human being.
However, when worries spin out of control can be very detrimental and bring a lot of anxiety. Therefore, observing and being aware of your worry allows you to manage it better.
Why Worry Exists
Worry consists of thinking about the future mainly in a negative way, imagining the worst-case scenario. Often, worries don't match reality, and the imagined situations are rarely as bad as we have predicted them to be. Nevertheless, these thoughts cause feelings of stress and anxiety.
Scientists believe that worry is a mechanism that used to have its evolutionary and practical purpose. For example, when humans were much more vulnerable to predator attacks or natural disasters, worrying was a natural way to anticipate those immediate scenarios and better survive them.
In today’s environment, there isn’t such an immediate return to our actions. The so-called Delayed Return Environment (for instance, the fact that we don’t receive our paycheck until the end of the month even if we work every day) leaves us in constant uncertainty. Our brains are wired to worry about immediate dangers, and delaying the return prolongs the negative feelings.
That is why excessive worry, spiraling, and even feeling paralyzed to do something are so common in today’s world. Clinically, it is also the primary symptom of Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
New Moms and Worry
Worrying is very common within the parenting experience. Moms, especially new ones, constantly observe their babies and monitor their behavior and physiological processes to make sure they are healthy and developing correctly. But, unfortunately, when things don't seem to work out perfectly, worry kicks in.
One study observed first-time moms’ worries during the first months after birth. Randomized women were given the option to call a 24-hour telephone hotline designed to address their concerns as new parents. As a result, 24% of them used the resource, and results show that they were satisfied with the service.
During the four first weeks after labor, most calls were on questions related to the mothers themselves or the infants. Some of the most common concerns were related to breastfeeding, routine care for babies, and excessive crying.
The study showed that most worries moms have are prevalent. Also, it proves that having support during the first weeks as a new parent is essential. Making frequent contact with your pediatrician or having resources such as Leva App at your disposal are good ways to address your worry.
Manage Your Worry
If worrying is an (almost) inevitable part of life, what should you do when it gets out of control?
You must observe your worry, so you know how to manage it properly. Here are four steps you can take to get your negative thoughts and feelings under control:
1. Give them limitations
Worries can have the power to get us into a never-ending spiral. They may start as a small and reasonable concern that can grow into an unmanageable fear if not addressed. If you give each worry a limitation, a point in which you decide just to let it go, you give yourself time to accept this natural negative thought, but, at the same time, you don't let it take over. Taking some time out to do activities you like helps break the negative cycle and stop intrusive thoughts.
2. Write them down
Acknowledging your worries is a powerful tool. As we have already seen, most of our imagined worst-case scenarios don't end up being as bad as we predicted. Writing them down helps to lift the burden, see where they are coming from, and get a better perspective on how to solve the problem.
3. Be proactive
Most of the time, we worry when we feel that something threatening is out of our hands. Worrying has a paralyzing effect that can stop us from seeing the whole picture. After writing or correctly identifying our concerns, we can pinpoint the things actually in our control. Then, we can shift the long-term negative view into practical baby steps that make us feel better and calmer about the situation.
4. Meditate
Meditation is a great way to counteract the adverse effects of worrying. As a relaxation technique, it helps you ease feelings of stress and anxiety. It is also a great way to break the cycle of negative thoughts and find better peace of mind to better address your concerns. At Leva App, you will find resources that will help you navigate the uncertainty of being a new mom through the power of meditation.
In conclusion
Worrying is a natural process that is part of being a human. However, the uncertainty of our modern lives can exacerbate the stress and anxiety that comes with it and cause it to spiral out of control. Observing your worry will empower you and help you healthily address your concerns.
