Reimagining Infant Feeding: Prioritizing Maternal Mental Health as the Path to Success
In the landscape of motherhood, one topic that has been the center of countless heated debates is breastfeeding. The widespread adage, 'breast is best,' has been echoed through generations, serving as a standard for many new mothers. While the benefits of breastfeeding for both mother and child are well-documented, the conversation has tilted away from acknowledging the complexities of breastfeeding. And rarely in generations past did the mother’s mental health have a place in the conversation. It is high time we redefine success in motherhood by advocating for a more inclusive, compassionate approach to infant feeding – one that champions the health of both mom and baby.
"Breast is best" can be harmful to mothers who struggle to breastfeed
The 'breast is best' message is not intentionally harmful. It’s grounded in breastmilk's undeniable nutritional benefits, including a balance of nutrients, immune system support, and potential health benefits for the mother. However, when this message is touted without consideration of the mother’s emotional and psychological well-being, it becomes a source of pressure and anxiety.
Many new mothers have the intention to breastfeed. A secondary plan is rarely discussed. And then, when the mom encounters challenges that make it difficult or even impossible, it feels overwhelming, as it was the one and only plan. Difficulties in latching, low milk supply, painful breastfeeding, and medical conditions are just a few obstacles that can stand in the way of successful breastfeeding. As a mental health therapist, I’ve supported mothers through the difficult decision to keep trying breastfeeding or introduce formula. It’s not an understatement to describe it as painful and devastating when the decision is the latter.
In my journey as a new mother, I had planned to breastfeed. Thanks to a dear friend who had struggled with breastfeeding and sent her husband to the store to purchase the formula in a tearful middle-of-the-night panic, I felt more prepared for barriers. She shared the struggle of her son to latch, which meant her milk supply dwindled quickly. She told me in detail the literal pain she felt when told she was “starving” her son through a low milk supply. But many new mothers don’t encounter a friend or peer that shares their struggle, and the difficulties can leave a new mother feeling blindsided.
When a woman who's just given birth faces these challenges, the societal pressure to breastfeed can exacerbate feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and failure. This emotional strain and the physical demands of caring for a newborn can lead new mothers to postnatal depression and anxiety. A Maternal and Child Health Journal study found that mothers who intended to exclusively breastfeed but had to introduce formula were more than twice as likely to suffer from postpartum depression than mothers who planned to use the formula from the start.
This is a significantly higher rate than mothers who planned to use formula as an additional option. The pressure to breastfeed exclusively means that there might be hours spent in a room alone with a crying baby who’s hungry and frustrated. After giving birth, the hormones in a woman's body are high, and the strain it puts on a mother, when despite best efforts, they cannot feed via breast, can be depression-inducing. It feels like failure.
"Fed is best" is a more inclusive and compassionate approach to infant feeding
This is where the 'fed is best' philosophy comes in. It promotes the idea that ensuring a baby is well-fed, whether through breastfeeding, formula feeding, or a combination of both, is most important. It recognizes that every mother's journey is unique and that feeding decisions should prioritize both the mother and child's overall health and well-being.
The 'fed is best' approach calls for a paradigm shift in how we support new mothers. It advocates for more comprehensive prenatal and postnatal education that encompasses not just the benefits of breastfeeding but also its potential challenges, as well as the safe preparation and use of formula. It encourages healthcare professionals to support each mother's feeding choice without judgment, ensuring that mothers who cannot or choose not to breastfeed do not feel marginalized or shamed.
Perhaps most importantly, the 'fed is best' mantra recognizes that maternal mental health is crucial to a child's well-being. A mother free from excessive worry about feeding is more likely to be present, responsive, and emotionally available for her baby. Prioritizing a mother’s mental health can be the best path to infant feeding success.
The 'fed is best' approach does not undermine the benefits of breastfeeding or discourage mothers who want to breastfeed. Instead, it provides a safety net for those who find breastfeeding challenging or untenable. It assures them that formula is a safe and nutritious alternative. And most importantly, their worth as a mother is NOT determined by how they feed their baby, and ensuring their child is fed, loved, and cared for is what truly matters.
In an ideal world, every woman who wishes to breastfeed can do so easily. However, reality presents many scenarios, each requiring unique solutions and support. Adopting a more inclusive, empathetic, and supportive infant feeding message for all new mothers could improve the mental health of so many new mothers.
Breastfeeding is a personal journey, and one size does not fit all. There are as many ways to be a great mother as there are mothers worldwide, and feeding is just one aspect of this multifaceted role. The 'fed is best' philosophy reinforces this view, empowering mothers to make the best decisions for their unique circumstances and reminding them that it's okay if breastfeeding doesn't work out as planned.
If you see a mother struggling with breastfeeding, please be aware of the link to postpartum depression. Educate yourself on an inclusive approach to infant feeding that considers the mother's mental health. If you are the one who is struggling, please know that there are so many paths to success in infant feeding, which do not require a sacrifice of your mental stability.
A mother's worth is not determined by how she feeds her baby
Ultimately, redefining success in motherhood means shifting focus from rigid ideals to individual well-being. It means viewing motherhood not as a one-size-fits-all endeavor but as a deeply personal journey that can be navigated in various ways. By embracing the 'fed is best' philosophy, we can help create a society where new mothers feel less judged and more supported, regardless of how they feed their babies.
Remember, the success of motherhood isn't measured by how a baby is fed but by the love, care, and commitment a mother provides. A well-fed baby is happy, and a stress-free, mentally healthy mother contributes to a nurturing environment. So, let's redefine the meaning of success in motherhood. Because every mother deserves to feel successful, and every baby deserves to thrive.
