Surviving the Holidays with a Newborn: 10 Tips for New Parents
By Vanessa Jupe, CEO of Leva
The festive season with a newborn is a unique experience. Instead of perfectly posed holiday cards and peaceful family gatherings, you might be navigating sleep deprivation, a revolving door of visitors, and an overwhelming amount of conflicting advice.
But don't worry, you've got this! This guide is here to help you navigate the holiday season with your sanity intact. We'll address common challenges, offer expert-backed solutions, and provide some much-needed reassurance.
Top 10 Holiday Peeves for New Parents (and How to Survive Them)
The Never-Ending Parade of Visitors: While loved ones are eager to meet the new arrival, a constant stream of guests can disrupt your newborn's sleep (and yours!).
Solution: Set visiting hours to maintain some control over your schedule. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends limiting visitors in the early weeks to protect your little one's health. Politely but firmly decline visits if you're feeling overwhelmed. As parenting guru Emily Oster says, "You do you."
The Unsolicited Advice Avalanche: Everyone seems to have an opinion on how to raise your baby.
Solution: Develop a stock phrase to politely deflect advice, like "Thanks, we'll keep that in mind!" If someone is particularly persistent, try saying, "We're trying this approach now, and we'll see how it goes."
The Pressure to Travel: Traveling with a newborn can be daunting, especially during the busy holiday season.
Solution: Put your and your baby's needs first. The CDC provides helpful guidelines for safe infant travel. It's perfectly okay to decline invitations if travel feels too stressful. Your well-being matters, too!
The Baby as a Human Pass-the-Parcel: While everyone wants to cuddle your little one, constantly being passed around can be overstimulating for your baby (and increase the risk of germs).
Solution: Politely limit handling by explaining that you're trying to minimize germ exposure. Remind everyone to wash their hands before holding the baby. If your baby seems overwhelmed, rescue them and offer some quiet time. "The Wonder Weeks" by Hetty van de Rijt and Frans Plooij can help you understand your baby's cues.
The Naptime Disruptors: Just when your little one finally falls asleep, someone inevitably disrupts their nap.
Solution: Communicate your baby's nap schedule clearly. Consider a visual cue like a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. Create a quiet, designated sleep space where your baby can rest undisturbed.
The Festive Cacophony: Between the carols, the chatter, and the general holiday hustle and bustle, it can be a sensory overload for your newborn.
Solution: Escape to a quieter room for breaks. White noise can also work wonders to block out distracting sounds.
The Mountain of Inappropriate Gifts: You appreciate the thought, but that singing stuffed animal might not be quite right for your newborn.
Solution: Create a gift registry to guide well-meaning loved ones. Suggest experiences instead of material gifts, like contributions to a college fund or a baby massage class. We specifically requested books when our baby was little, and we still treasure many of them to this days (years later!).
The Unrealistic Expectations: You're exhausted, but everyone expects you to be the picture of holiday cheer.
Solution: Communicate your needs openly. Let loved ones know you might need extra help or some downtime. Remember to practice self-compassion. You're doing an amazing job!
The Lack of Practical Help: Everyone wants to coo over the baby, but no one offers to help with the household chores.
Solution: Don't be shy about asking for specific help, whether it's with meal prep, laundry, or just holding the baby while you take a shower. If possible, consider hiring a postpartum doula or cleaner for extra support.
The Comments About Your Baby's Appearance: While usually well-intentioned, comments about your baby's size or resemblance to other family members can sometimes be hurtful.
Solution: Politely redirect the conversation to your baby's health and well-being. If a comment is particularly insensitive, address it calmly and assertively.
Remember, new parents, you are not alone! It's okay to set boundaries, prioritize your needs, and ask for help. By communicating openly and taking care of yourselves, you can navigate the holiday season and create joyful memories with your little one.
If you need a little extra support, we’re here for you.
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American Academy of Pediatrics. HealthyChildren.org. www.healthychildren.org. Accessed 18 Nov. 2024.
Oster, Emily. Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool. Penguin Books, 2019.
Mayo Clinic. Mayo Clinic. www.mayoclinic.org. Accessed 18 Nov. 2024.
Karp, Harvey. The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer. Bantam, 2002.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. www.cdc.gov. Accessed 18 Nov. 2024.
Markham, Laura. AhaParenting.com. www.ahaparenting.com. Accessed 18 Nov. 2024.
Giordano, Suzy. The Baby Sleep Solution: A Proven Program to Teach Your Baby to Sleep Twelve Hours a Night. TarcherPerigee, 2006.
Neff, Kristin. Self-Compassion.org. www.self-compassion.org. Accessed 18 Nov. 2024.
